Tuesday, 22 April 2014

The Zombie Who Came to Tea

Thanks to fellow writer James Brinsford: http://jamesbrinsford.wordpress.com/ the following re-write of The Tiger Who Came to Tea came about, it's the first draft of a modern classic in the making!

The Zombie Who Came to Tea by Emma Finlayson-Palmer

Once there was a little girl called Zoe, and she was having tea with her Mummy, in the kitchen.
Suddenly there was a thump and a thud at the door.
Zoe's Mummy said, "I wonder who that can be? It can't be the double glazing salesman because he came this morning. And it can't be the newspaper delivery boy because he only comes on Sundays. And it can't be your Dad because he's got his key. We'd better open the door and see."
Zoe opened the door, and there was a big, smelly, shambling old Zombie.
The Zombie said, "Brains! Sorry but I'm very hungry. Do you think that I could have brains and tea with you?"
Zoe's Mummy said, "Erm, I suppose so, come in."
So the Zombie shuffld into the kitchen and slumped down at the table.
Zoe's Mummy said, "Would you like a walnut?" 
But the Zombie didn't take just one walnut. He took all of them and swallowed the whole packet in one big gulp. "Brains," he said.
And he still looked hungry, so Zoe passed him some sausages. But again the Zombie didn't eat just one sausage. He ate all the sausages on the plate. And then he ate all the bacon, and all the cake, but he didn't like the cake so there was just some Zombie-mauled cake left to eat on the table.
So Zoe's Mummy said, "Would you like a drink?" 
And the Zombie drank all the tomatoe juice from the fridge and all the tea in the teapot. And then he shuffled around the kitchen to see what else he could find.
He ate all the chicken dinner that was cooking in the oven... and all the food from the fridge... and all the dog biscuits in the cupboard... and he drank all the protein shakes, slurped up raw eggs, and ate all the tins of cat food.
"Brains," he said, then shambled in the direction of the rabbit hutch.
"I think it's time to go now Mr Zombie," said Zoe's Mummy.
Then he said, "Thank you for my nice tea, brains. I think I'd better go now."
And the Zombie went.
Zoe's Mummy said, "I don't know what to do. I've got nothing for dinner, the Zombie has eaten it all!"
And Zoe was glad that the Zombie came as she didn't like chicken for dinner.
Just then Zoe's Dad came home. So Zoe and Mummy told him what had happened, and how the Zombie had eaten all the food and drunk all the drink.
And Zoe's Dad said, "I've got a very good idea. Pass me the phone."
So Zoe passed her Dad the phone, and Mummy fetched some leaflets from by the front door. They decided that they'd have a takeaway that night.
And they had a lovely dinner with pizza and garlic bread and ice cream for pudding.
In the morning Zoe and her Mummy went shopping and they bought lots of food to fill the empty cupboards and fridge.
And they also bought a very big tin of brains, in case the Zombie should ever come to tea again.
But he never did.

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